Below you will find 11 truths all highly sensitive people (HSPs) need to wholeheartedly embrace.
1. You are Strong
Because of your neurological wiring, you experience the world more intensely than most. Beauty is more beautiful, and hurt is more hurtful. You absorb the emotions of others without even trying. Your intuition is always working hard behind the scenes, surveying and sending signals. You get overwhelmed and need your rest. Your wiring is always making demands of you, and sometimes this fast-paced world doesn’t allow you to make all the necessary adjustments or accommodations as needed.
And yet, my dear friend, you get up every day to greet the world again. You step into your role as caring friend, loving partner, engaged parent, diligent coworker, and you do it with a strong moral compass and compassion for those around you. Many of you have had to learn to navigate this messy world with very little outside understanding or support for your own neurodiversity, all while continuing to hold space for others, as HSPs so often do.
You are so strong, and I do hope you know that deep down to your core.
2. You were a Wonderful Child
Were clothes too itchy or constricting? Did you hate jeans? Maybe you cried a lot as a baby, or you were very shy. Your feelings may have been easily hurt or you were quick to anger. Perhaps you were a picky eater. Maybe all of this was true for you. It was for me.
Even with all of that, you were a wonderful child. If the adults in your life didn’t understand your sensitivities, that was on them, not you. To be clear, I’m not shaming your former caregivers. In most cases, they did what they thought was best. Information about HSPs wasn’t available until the 1990s, and it still isn’t widely understood or accepted. Society isn’t often forgiving of a sensitive brain, and they were likely misguidedly trying to protect you. However, you couldn’t help your sensitivities or change your neurological wiring even if you tried.
That said, you absolutely had many wonderful traits that made you exceptional. If adults were too consumed with trying to force you to wear the annoying jeans to notice the beauty of your natural-born trait, I’m sorry.
3. You are Enough
Just as you are right now, you are more than enough.
Even if some days it’s hard to face the world, you are enough. If you are tired and overstimulated, you are enough. Regardless of what part of your life-journey you are traversing, you are enough.
You don’t need to be more or less of anything. As a result of your unique experience and neurological makeup, you add value to the world exactly as you are right now.
4. Overstimulation is Normal
Everybody gets overstimulated.
HSPs get overwhelmed easier and faster, it’s true, but everyone can absolutely relate to the experience. I find that the first step to overcoming overstimulation is to tell someone. When I try to hide it, it grows. You’d be surprised how understanding most people are.
For more on overcoming overstimulation, click here.
5. Boundaries are Kind
Having and keeping boundaries may feel harsh to your sensitive and empathic heart. But I assure you, boundaries are kind.
When you know your personal relationship rules and hold firm to them with everyone in your life, you give people who love you clear guidelines to follow. There’s no fogginess about how far a person can push you.
Let’s be honest, HSPs are often natural caregivers, and it feels really nice to be nurtured. As my therapist put it, people will gravitate to and want a piece of your gift. It’s only natural. But when a person unknowingly oversteps an invisible barrier, secret resentment will build in you. Secret resentment is a relationship time-bomb. Being clear about your threshold prevents this from happening and thus lovingly preserves valuable relationships.
6. You are Worthy
You are worthy of love, respect, friendship, and dignified employment. Your sensitivities are a part of what makes you an amazing and valuable human. If people in your circle don’t understand or respect you, please know it’s not you. It’s absolutely them. They just aren’t right for you. You can kindly wish them well and send them on their way.
7. Self-Care is a Need
A solid self-care routine prevents overwhelm, reactivity, and burnout. Everyone needs daily self-care, but due to the active nature of our neurological system, self-care is absolutely essential for HSPs.
Self-care goes beyond an occasional bubble bath or facial, although those are wonderful too. Self-care means making healthy choices as much as possible to put your body at an advantage in the fight against overstimulation and burnout.
For a list of 15 self-care tips, click here.
8. You aren’t their Therapist
Even though you are emotionally intelligent and an amazing listener, you are not their therapist, whomever “they” are.
When I went to parties as a teenager, rather than being wild and doing what all my friends were doing, I would inevitably end up in a corner providing free therapeutic services to some random kid who just got dumped. I probably would have never been “wild” anyway, but I never set out to be the resident crying shoulder either.
As an adult, I am often the person my family calls on for emotional support. Most of the time I’m up for the job, but sometimes I’m not. When I’m not, my go-to line is, “Gosh, I don’t know that I’m equipped to help you with this one.” I’ve also suggested a good therapist more than once.
9. Trust your Gut
HSPs have almost magical intuition. I will meet a person once and know they aren’t right for me. An uncomfortable emotion will overtake me that I cannot shake. Don’t get me wrong, I usually give them a minute to disprove my gut reaction, but my vibe-sensors are ridiculously accurate. If you are an HSP, yours are too. Trust them.
This doesn’t just happen with people either. It happens with job opportunities, houses, and even recreational spaces. If it doesn’t feel right, leave it behind. There have been a handful of times when I didn’t listen to my gut, and I have deeply regretted my choice.
On the contrary, if something feels overwhelmingly right, it probably is. Our active neurological systems are always sensing, and responding, even when we aren’t aware. I trust the wisdom of my brain and body. I hope you do too.
10. You Can Say No
It is so important to embrace simplicity as a HSP. To thrive, your sensitive brain needs ample breathing room for rest, contemplation, and creativity. Ruthlessly saying no to obligations means saying yes to you. Opt for guilt over resentment every single time. If you say no, the world will still spin. I promise.
11. You are the Right Amount of Sensitive. Period
We have all heard it, “You’re too sensitive.”
This is so incredibly unfair. HSPs are born with sensory processing sensitivity. We are neurodiverse.
We cannot change the way our brains are wired anymore than anyone else can change their genetic make-up.
Whatever amount of sensitive you are, it is the exact right amount. Believe it.
As always, thank you so much for reading. If you find this content useful, please subscribe. Doing so will allow you to receive one email a week alerting you to the release of my latest article.
Much love!
