*The cover art for this article was created by 11-year-old Lucy Machasic.
How would you express yourself if you believed nobody would judge you?
Yes, People Judge
The truth is, we know people judge. Many of us have experienced judgment firsthand for being quiet or slow-to-warm or emotional. Perhaps you have escaped this judgment in your own life. Of course, simply being more observant allows you to see watchful eyes or questioning expressions more than a non-sensitive person. As a result of this innate understanding, it makes sense that a highly sensitive person (HSP) might choose to hide precious parts of themselves away.
Fear of Judgement
For me this fear of judgement meant never taking up “too much” personally expressive space. Only until recently, I have given power to others and hidden away the creative side of myself.
Finally, in 2022, after a lot of self-love practice, I decided that it was time to step outside of my comfort zone. After over a decade of dreaming, I finally dyed my hair a bright, vibrant purple and got a huge wildflower and honey bee tattoo on my upper arm. It might sound insignificant, but these were both spiritually important ways for me to openly own and express parts of myself and feelings that I had always kept inside.
Stepping out into the world, particularly with my thick, unruly, and now purple hair for the first time caused me a level of angst that is difficult to put into words.
It was as if I had a sign on me that said, “All eyes on me! Judge away”
Owning it
After those first few excruciating experiences in public, I made a conscious choice to walk with more confidence. I allowed myself to believe that it was okay to love and express myself. When I noticed someone looking at me, I would simply smile and carry on with my shopping.
Actually, more often than not, the people who had been looking, usually ended up complimenting my hair or my tattoo. Interestingly, this open expression ended up drawing like-minded people to me. This was a consequence I would have never experienced had I not been brave in this way.
Expressing Yourself
Perhaps you are a talented but closeted artist. Or you sing like Lady Gaga but only at home.
Silly as it sounds, if I hadn’t ever dyed my hair purple, I would have regretted never expressing myself in this way. I would have been disappointed that I allowed my anxiety get in the way of outwardly owning my inner creative.
My guess is, your sweet, sensitive heart will regret hiding out, too.
Let the World in
Be bold, my friend! HSPs have so much to share with the world. Our inner world is brimming with depth and knowing. Creative expression is often one of the many gifts we can offer. It would be a shame for those who would support you and your work to never have the opportunity to truly see you.
Writing this blog for you is another way I have chosen to be “out” as an HSP. I have a degree in writing that I have only ever used to market myself in my career as caregiver.
It’s scary to step out and let the world see me. However, I do hope that I can encourage you to give yourself the gift of vulnerability. Allow yourself to be seen for the amazing, sensitive, creative, empathic soul that you are.
