I Quit Alcohol as a Highly Sensitive Person. Here’s why:

As a highly sensitive person (HSP), I relied on alcohol as an emotional buffer for years. For those of you who haven’t heard this term before, an emotional buffer is anything that allows you to increase dopamine (the feel-good hormone) momentarily as an escape from stress.

HSPs become overstimulated quicker and easier than most. For me, when overwhelm happens, it is a struggle to carry out normal tasks, be productive, concentrate, or have a coherent conversation.

Simply put, I get clumsy, sweaty, and bumble-mouthed. 

Some of the worst overstimulation offenders are social events. They are too loud, dynamic, visually stimulating, and emotionally draining.

In my experience, what further complicates social events are the hours before when I am trying to both manage my anxiety and prepare my family for an exit strategy. 

For a long time, the magic pill for me was a good craft beer. One beer would take just enough of the edge off, and I could relax a bit and be “normal.” I wouldn’t overthink everything or struggle to make conversation. 

Taking Alcohol too Far

I know what you’re thinking:

Nothing wrong with one beer, right? 

The problem was that when one beer took the edge off, two or three sounded great too. It feels incredibly freeing for an HSP to relax an active nervous system. What’s worse is that because alcohol had such a powerful effect in social situations, it was also easy to fall into the trap of using it to solve other problems. 

On days when I had allowed my schedule to become overrun, or my toddlers had been particularly toddlery, or I was feeling unfulfilled, or I just wanted to shut down the noise in my head, having a beer was all I needed to make it through until bedtime.  Before I knew it, I was drinking a beer or two a night, more often than not. 

The Negative Impact of Alcohol

Of course, for a highly sensitive nervous system, even one beer could cause the following day to be nearly intolerable. It eventually got to a point when I dealt with headaches, fatigue, and chronic stomach issues everyday. I was reactive with my kids and husband, and honestly just felt badly about myself. 

What I want more than anything is to live a life true to my authentic self. The deep desire to seek out one’s true self is a common lifelong experience for many HSPs.

Eventually I realized that numbing my nervous system in order to be a more easily digestible version of me just wasn’t in my best interest. 

Taking Action

I would love to say that as soon as I made this realization, I quit, but that would be a lie. 

The truth is, quitting alcohol is extremely difficult. I never drank enough to be considered an addict, so physically, it was perfectly safe for me to stop drinking without medical assistance. However, getting sober forced me to dig deep and reevaluate my life in big ways. 

For example, in order to be successful, I needed to consider why I was numbing my sensitivities in the first place. I realized my need to do so was a result of the insecurities that I needed to heal. I simply didn’t believe that my quirky, sensitive self was worthy of love as I was. A great therapist helped me to see things differently.

Of course, in all honesty, some of the people in my life weren’t actually going to accept the sometimes overwhelmed version of me. Therefore, some of my circle needed to go. 

I also worked to remove daily stressors. Personally, that meant minimizing environmental clutter and ruthlessly saying no to obligations that compromised simple living. 

A Bumpy Road

Of course once I finally quit, the path to sobriety wasn’t linear. 

I have personally quit alcohol three times. Once for three months, another time for one year, and this time I have been sober for one year and five months. I truly believe that this one is for keeps. 

What made this time most successful was the preliminary work to reevaluate and change the circumstances leading to my use of alcohol.

This hasn’t been an easy road, and that is alright. Your journey might be complex too, but shame has no place here.

Disclaimer

What I am referring to in this article is my use of alcohol as an emotional buffer. In moderation, emotional buffering is perfectly normal. But for me, it had taken me far away from realizing my authentic self.

To be clear, this article is not about alcohol addiction. However, if you find that your drinking has gotten out of control, please visit this link for help. You are worthy of a long, healthy, happy life.

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Much love!